Break, broke, better

Image by -Chad Johnson via Flickr

Despite planning and prep ("How do we help a guest be comfortable? Here are the plans for the week.") the start of spring break was rocky. Diver announced he could not go to the airport to pick up Cousin Bill because, in his words, "I only go to the airport to fly to Camp Kodiak." Even when I explained he did not have to go inside, he said a trip to the airport was all he could do for one day and if he went to the airport, he'd have to spend the day at home.

So much for my plans for airport pickup, lunch at Micky's Diner, and an afternoon at the Minnesota History Center.

I picked up Bill and when we returned to the house, a calm, cordial Diver was sitting on the couch with the dog and cat, both of whom he introduced to Bill. After clever Bill asked Diver his opinion on the new Defense Department Budget, they chatted amiably and Diver showed Bill his room. We went out to lunch, walked along the lake, and visited a historical depot. On the way home, we stopped at HobbyTown where Bill bought a model. They spent a companionable couple of hours building, chatting, enjoying each others company. After which, they biked to Dairy Queen. I followed with the dog and we hung out by the creek.

What a great day; far better than Mickey's and the history center. It's what I have been craving most; loving family that accepts us and even better, enjoys us.

On the spectrum

Image via Wikipedia

Thursday at bedtime, Diver, irritable and squirmy, had retreated to his basement swing, where he furiously rocked while nuking bad guys on his xbox. "Mom," he demanded, " Aren't you going to come here and ask about stuff?"

Ok.

"Every day at school something goes wrong. Someone melts down. Someone spazzes out. I'm tired of it. "

Rock, nuke, rock, nuke.

"Do you know what it's like to go on a field trip, like to the zoo, and if one guy in your class can't handle it, you all have to go back to school?"

Rock, nuke, rock, nuke.

"I cope with it. I cope, but I'm tired of it. Frick is mean. Frack is weird. Fred is in another world. I don't have any peers. And Miss ABC, the teaching assistant, isn't too sharp."

Rock, nuke. Nuke, rock.

What happens now? Diver had six years of failure in the mainstream while we struggled to get him tested, struggled to get him diagnosed and struggled to get him services; six years that culminated in dropping out of sixth grade and hiring an attorney to take on the school district. Which culminated in the interdistrict ASD (autism spectrum disorder) placement where he has happily spent the last six months. The routine and structure have been powerful healers for him, turning him into a happy, stable, composed kid. So much of what the school district called his pathologies (anxiety disorder, mood disorder, depression) disappeared when he was finally in this appropriate setting. So now when Diver, who has Asperger's, looks around at his classmates on the spectrum......he sees kids who are not peers.
What happens now? I don't think he's ready to be in the mainstream. To lose the supports and stucture that have made him successful would be a disaster.