Tuesday, November 23, 2010

24 hours later

What a difference a day makes.

Last night, in tears, I told Elmer he had to go to school in the morning. He didn't have to like it. He just had to go.

And this morning he went.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Oy in the Vey

High AnxietyImage via WikipediaThere's only so much supermom -- or superkid -- can do.

We've been doing a rapid ramp-up to a new school. Today was to be Day One.
Elmer has been masterful at managing his anxiety; naming it, claiming it, coming up with coping strategies on his own. Even after a tough time sleeping last night, he scrambled to be ready for the bus at 7:20.
Which didn't come.
At 7:40, I called the bus company, which admitted and apologized for their error, and promised to have a substitute bus here ASAP.
Meanwhile, anxiety is eating away at Elmer like bedbugs; a worried face, intestinal distress, diarrhea and more diarrhea. When the bus finally arrives (30 minutes later), he is still in the bathroom. The bus idles,the gut churns, Elmer gets as far as the stairs; then anounces, "Nope. Not gonna' happen."
And so the best laid plans of Anonymom succomb.
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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Concrete Cooking

Parmesan Scrambled Eggs - Arcadia AUD13.50 - p...Image by avlxyz via FlickrNow that's something Elmer would enjoy cooking: concrete.

That's how my Aspie likes things. Concrete. Without nuance or fudge room.
So as I've been pressing him to cook his own meals, I've had to stiffen my own recipes.
When Elmer asked, "Milk or water?" while preparing scrambled eggs this morning, "Either" was the wrong answer. Ditto "If you like" to his question about adding butter to the pan.

So "How high should the flame be?" needs a marker written in stone. Ditto for "How much water in the pot?" I can do this. I can give concrete directions. I will be a walking, talking cookbook.

Mind you, following recipes never helped me. I still can't cook, despite James Beard-worthy directions. I can dish it out. I just can't take it.

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Friday, November 5, 2010

Untitled, unschooled, unhappy

Gary, Indiana train stationImage by kla4067 via FlickrThis blog is as much about me as it is about Elmer. And I am in a bad way. Glum as Gary. Downcast as the weather. As sad sack as can be.
I want my own Mom to take care of me.

When last I wrote (August 17), Elmer was in fine shape, looking forward to school. Which, it was soon apparent, was not working. A moment here, an hour there, a morning missed, then a day. Then two. I raised a red flag; said, "Yoo hoo! Things aren't working."
"Hello, team! Best we take action sooner, rather than later."
"Elmer is at home again. Help."
True to form, the school moved slowly....too slowly; the upshot being Elmer at home, unschooled, for a month now.
At first, I coped well; "Elmer, we'll figure it out. We've been through this before. We'll get through it again."
By the time his school team had a plan in place, Elmer was so deeply mired in gloom, that he could not bounce back. Unsticking him will be slow and painful.
And when Elmer is mired, so am I. Chained in glue. Stuck in cement.
I berate myself: "What could I have done differently? I called IEP meetings. I asked for support, interim plans. Should I have yelled louder, made scenes, called the Special Ed Director sooner?"
We're back in autism land and I don't like it.

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