Monday, January 11, 2010

Bar None

Boy reading from the Torah according to Sephar...Image via Wikipedia

Having real problems getting the Bar Mitzvah train rolling.
The standard one-size-fits-all Bar Mitzvah plan won't work.
And the one-size-fits-all-ASD-kiddos won't fit either.
After plotting a course that would work (two-dudes-talking-Torah plus interactive white board), the Rabbi informed us that he didn't have time for this approach. Furthermore, he wondered whether Elmer really wanted a Bar Mitzvah and whether I could discipline him to study.
Them are fighting words to this Auti-mom.
Elmer reminds me that he has had zero good experiences with religious education at the synagogue; pre-diagnosis, he just didn't fit and dropped out. Post-diagnosis, he was placed in a one-site-fits-all-ASD class that didn't fit him, and dropped out. His only religious education has been at home.
And this is a boy who should be grappling with Torah. His is a first-rate mind that can hold its own with the sages.
And the Rabbi doesn't have time for him?
I guess we need a different dude (or dudette) to talk Torah. Onward and upward.

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  1. We had the same problem.Noone wanted to Bar Mitzvah the boys. Finally we found a wonderful Rabbi and Temple that went out of their way to make this a wonderful experience for my children. They had great Bar Mitzvahs and terrific experiences. There are those out there, you just have to look. Its sad really that those who are supposed to be next to God are really a shundah.

  2. I trust that we will find the right dude (or dudette) to talk Torah with Elmer. Would it be easier to do it at our synagogue? Yes. But we'll figure it out.

  3. The dudes are out there. I have a friend whose son with CP prepped for and completed his Bar Mitzvah using a communication board, with the full support of his Rabbi and volunteer aides.

    Good luck.

  4. Well, that's disappointing. I cry hypocrisy, but then I've never done well with organized religion in general. Sending best wishes that you find the right fit!

  5. Chabad seems to work with kids of special fact they are made to really feel welcome!