SuperBoy

Image by Thomas Hawk via Flickr

Diver just cleared his throat.

It's a nasty, fleghummmy snort. He used to make it umpteen times a day, grossing out one and all.
"I have to clear my snot!" he'd insist.

Was it a tic? An inability to blow his nose? One thing for sure: it was gross.

When I heard it this morning, I realized it had disappeared. Hadn't heard it for weeks. Wow.

Which put yesterday's events into a clearer light. Diver's pants split at school and he spent the day in a funk. He announced he was not going to Civil Air Patrol Cadets, and proceeded to shoot Xbox bad guys.

At dinner, he asked, "Are you mad at me? Why am I asking this?!?"
He was reading my non-verbal signals.
Wow.

Shortly thereafter, he said, "Where's my B.D.U.*? We're going."

He had gotten himself unstuck.
Wow.

Major accomplishments. Super powers for someone with an ASD.

He's not just growing tall.





*Battle dress uniform

Suck up and deal

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As I detailed earlier in Hunka Chunky Burning Love, Diver likes his hair cut short, Quantico-style. And now that he is in the Civil Air Patrol Cadets, Quantico is more than a style. It's "regulation", he explains.

"But Diver, I love your hair. You have great hair!" I protest.

"Mom," he barks, "Suck up and deal."

.......................... ............. ........... (That's the sound of Anonymom, sucking up and dealing.)

Yesterday, when another substitute bus driver showed up in yet another vehicle to take him to school, Diver poked his head in the door and alerted me, "Mom, it's another sub!"

"Suck up and deal," I replied.

........................... ............ ....... (That's the sound of Diver realizing the trap he himself has set. And sucking up and dealing with it.)

Hooray!

Parenting, Neurotypical and Otherwise

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Week #2 of CAP Cadet program. Diver is on his own, and Anonymom is marking time in a coffee shop. (Well, marking time is what she was doing until she plugged in her headphones and played Dawn Upshaw Sings Rogers and Hart.)

As Diver and I drove from one end of the metro to the other, I was feeling a bit holy about my willingness to drive so far for my child's activity. And I flashed back to my parents' schlepping me (and my three sibs) to ballet and drama and scouts and voice and piano and baton and .....you name it. There wasn't a night when there wasn't driving. I do it once and feel holy. Puh-lease.

Dawn and I are one hour into this (meaning the cadets have drilled and are now re-convening for education). I'll head back to the base in about 40 minutes and arrive as the Cadets are having their closing flag ceremony (Standing at attention! Saluting!) Its a good thing I'm not there watching because I'm laughing just thinking about it.

And that's a good thing. I don't laugh much. My heart is not often light. So maybe the Civil Air Patrol is good for me. Maybe CAP stand for something else: Carefree Autism Parenting.

Civil Air Patrol

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TO: Major J, Civil Air Patrol, Cadet Squad

Diver is looking forward to his first CAP meeting this evening and we look forward to meeting you.  After discussing it with Diver, we wanted to let you know that Diver has some extra challenges. He handles them well, and often they are not apparent. Still, if he had a peanut allergy or diabetes or a hearing loss, we would inform you about that. Diver's challenge is Asperger's Syndrome, a developmental disability which poses some sensory, social and communication challenges. He has learned to compensate; sometimes he'll ask for a moment to think something over; or he'll take break; or he'll ask that something be explained a second time. He's quite bright and creative and we think that he and CAP will be a great fit. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me.

Cordially, Anonymom

TO: Anonymom,

We look forward to meeting you and your family. Diver is most welcome to check things out and if interested we have no problems with him joining up. We see everyone as equal and our officers are patient with everyone. If he is eager to learn and share his interest with us he will acquire a whole new batch of friends. See you tonight!  Maj. J

After considering whether to disclose Diver's ASD to the adult leader of his new CAP Cadet unit, we took a conservative approach. We disclosed the nature of his challenges but steered clear of a label that might disqualify him. The Major's response was heartening, and we set off for the military base with great excitement (Diver) and anxiety (Anonymom).

Soldiers at the gate! MIlitary aircraft! Jeeps! Tanks! Officers in uniform! The meeting started with a call to attention and Diver was in heaven. They drilled, marched, had aerospace training. Diver was praised for his military knowledge and enthusiasm, and was practically guaranteed a place at the service academy of his choice.  From their mouths to God's ears.

They tried to get me to enlist, too, but I'm already in CAP. Concerned Auti-Parents.